


Who Am I?

by Luna_Bass



Category: Jackie Chan Adventures
Genre: Abandonment Issues, But mainly just Jade, Complex Hsi Wu, F/M, Jade being completely dead inside and OOC, Kids not acting like kids, POV Third Person Limited, Unreliable Narrator, a stageplay metaphor that I totally should have abandoned by now but somehow I keep extending it, potential mental instability ahead, some demon backstory, some psychological stuff, some violence but nothing graphic, unhealthy fixations on another person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 14:23:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11670837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luna_Bass/pseuds/Luna_Bass
Summary: Jade has never been quite normal - and doesn't really know who she is.





	1. Kāishǐ (開始)

"Help me, please! Don't let them find me!" Hsi Wu begged on his knees. His terror was evident. Jade, however, remained skeptical. He had easily faked emotions in the past, he could be trying to get something. But Jackie and the others hadn't gotten to know him as well as she had. They saw a little boy, frightened and abused by his siblings, but Jade saw the truth; she saw the demon behind the human mask. Hsi Wu must be lying, trying to trick them once again. Jade wasn't going to let her or her family fall for it.

"Please! They'll kill me!" Tears streamed down the boy's face. "You have no idea what they're like; when they find out I betrayed them and am now powerless, they'll hunt me down, without any kind of mercy! Weakness and treachery are never tolerated amongst demons." The last part he whispered, stricken gaze falling and his grip on Jade's hoodie loosened as he slumped to the ground at her feet, still clinging to her. A stab of pity, of ruth, pierced a tiny portion of her heart, that small portion of the heart that never gets over childhood crushes, especially when they were so recent. She didn't let it reach her face.

Jade looked behind her desperately at Jackie and Tohru and Uncle, hoping one of them would come forward to take the whimpering sky demon away and deal with him for her. The Chan family stood still as stone. Their faces said: this is your call, your burden.

Jade looked helplessly down at the sobbing, traumatized figure of Hsi Wu, and saw neither demon nor child, but another cross to bear; another scar to her soul. "Alright. We'll shelter you and grant you asylum. But don't expect to be treated like royalty. You'll be doing your fair share of work - among other things." Hsi Wu stood and wiped his face with his sleeve.

"Thank you."

That night on the plane back to San Francisco, Jade lay awake while everyone else lay sleeping. The thought occurred to her, as it had occurred to her parents, that relatives were cheaper than therapy.

In school in Hong Kong, she had gotten pretty average grades. The real problem was, she wasn't anything like other children. It had taken her years of studying and self-taught acting lessons to learn how to act like she was interested in video games and playing and comic books, and most important of all, adventures. Sometimes, she felt like nothing more than a hollow doll that was nothing but a surface of collected ideas and repeated words. She had never fully shown her act to her parents, for fear that they would be suspicious of such a sudden change. Being sent to Jackie was the perfect opportunity to seem, to feel, like a real child. Jade had hoped that she would feel different as well; for a while she had - she had thought she had, at last, discovered herself.

Until Hsi Wu turned up.

He had sent her world topsy-turvy. Jade had been delighted at having a first crush; when his betrayal had come, Jade had had no script to follow, no lines prepared. She'd had to improvise. And then the Queen of the Shadowkhan incident; ho, boy, was that a fiasco. It was like being someone else's puppet. Someone else acting out, someone else feeding her lines. It had been terrifying, not being in control, not knowing what part she was playing.

Jade looked across the aisle at the sleeping Hsi Wu. Maybe, in reality, he was more of a child than she was. She was a puppet child, a false child, a changeling. All the jokes, all the fears she'd ever shown, all the nightmares she'd pretended to have, all of them were fake. If Jade Chan was not a child, then what was she? A monster? An impostor?

But these were questions for another time. She had to sleep. Jade turned over on her side, and let slumber claim her form.

They arrived early in the morning. Hsi Wu practically clung to Jade's arm, something she vehemently protested against.

When they finally reached the shop, Uncle had to take off the usual wards to let Hsi Wu in. Jade showed him up to the guest room, and made sure he had a futon and toiletries. No one else helped her.

The antique shop was opened the next morning, as usual. As it was a weekend, Jackie and Uncle gave Hsi Wu his first chore - sweeping the floor. He was hopeless at it at first, so Tohru had to show him how it was done. Jade was personally surprised that he wasn't complaining yet.

Later in the day, Jackie brought up the topic of school. Since Hsi Wu's human form was a child, they would need to enroll him so it wouldn't be suspicious. Captain Black had agreed to fudge some records for them. Jade sighed internally but didn't complain. Having him at school would be a bother, but there was no getting around it. She'd just have to deal.

It wasn't until the end of the day, when they were all sitting around in silence and eating mushu pork, that Jade realized she hadn't tried to act like a child since Hsi Wu had defected to their side.

She couldn't sleep that night. Jade got up to wander the halls, making sure not to make a single wooden board creak. She got the idea to go get a glass of water - maybe that would make her feel less restless. Jade made her way down the stairs, to the kitchen.

Someone was already there. Jade ducked behind the door, hoping they hadn't seen her. From what Jackie knew of her "mischievous personality" he would be instinctively suspicious of her wandering the halls at night.

The person came out of the kitchen, bearing their own glass of water. He was the same height as her - it could only be one person in the house. Hsi Wu climbed atop a chair to sip his water.

Jade glanced around the door. If she could get out from behind the door without making noise or getting near enough for him to sense her presence, then she could sneak back up to her room. Cautious, she tiptoed out from behind the door.

"I can see in the dark, you know." Shit. Jade turned to face him. Hsi Wu looked down at her from his seat, ruby eyes almost glowing. He hadn't bothered hiding his demon eyes from them since he came here, unlike the time he tricked her. "What are you doing up?"

"I was going to ask the same of you! How can I be sure you're not up to something, demon?"

Hsi rolled his eyes. "Please. Enough with the facades. We both know that you don't really care either way whether I'm plotting something. It would just be inconvenient to you because of what side you're on. Go on," he said, his scarlet eyes gleaming with excitement. "Talk to me like the person you really are. Stop acting like your uncle's perfect little sidekick."

Jade felt mute. This was breaking character on a whole new level. She couldn't find her lines. Hsi Wu had done it again: betrayed her expectations. She wasn't meant for improv, dammit!

"What? What are you talking about? Of course I don't want you plotting anything! And fyi: I am not Jackie's sidekick!"

Hsi Wu looked a little disappointed. "I expected better of you. I guess you're more deluded than I thought you were." He turned his back to her, sipping his water. "Go back to bed, Jade. The only thing I'm here to scheme about is finishing this glass of water."

She went slowly back upstairs with her thoughts whirling and twisting.

School on Monday was a new and interesting experience. Jade had expected at least Drew to maybe remember Hsi Wu from when he was Seymour - but not a single one of her classmates recognized him. Maybe he'd cast a spell or something. But then she remembered he'd lost his powers - so that was kind of odd. She at first chalked it up to Drew being forgetful, and moved on.

Jade had chosen to resume her role, chatting and laughing like any other child. Hsi Wu would _not_ make her drop her facade again.

She had to say, she hadn't expected him to realize she was acting. This led to one conclusion - he must understand, and to understand, he had to be an actor too.

It made sense, in a way. Trickery was known to be one of his primary traits, according to legend. And the fact his human form was so young might say something about him - something he would probably have to hide from his siblings, seeing as they tolerated no weakness.

Their reasons differed, and that was all. Jade had never really known who she was, and instead made it up as she went along - Hsi Wu had something to hide, a secret.

That didn't mean she was going to break character for him. He might be okay with dropping the act away from his siblings, but Jade always had to be careful with her nosy family.

Besides, what else did she have, but her role?

When the schoolday was done, they walked home together in silence. Jade made a point of keeping him in place with a glare. Hsi Wu seemed wary of her, still scared he might be thrown to his siblings like a piece of meat to a pack of dogs. But both were pretending, and both their acts had grains of truth in them. And they both knew it.


	2. Sōusuǒ (搜索)

For a whole week, each day passed exactly like the last. Everyone would get up in the morning, quickly eat breakfast, and then scurry off to their various tasks. Jackie would go to work. Uncle and Tohru would set up shop. Hsi Wu and Jade would gather their bags and silently walk to school together, allegedly for no reason other than the fact they happened to live together.

(But they both knew that this was only half true.)

At school, they would spend class pretending to ignore each other. If they were ever teamed together for a temporary project, then they would do so without looking each other in the eye.

(Or rather, Jade would avoid Hsi Wu's gaze and pretend he was just an acquaintance. She didn't know whether or not he did the same.)

At lunch, Jade would separate from him, leaving Hsi Wu to eat his meal alone as she joked around with her pals, Jimmy and Munson.

(Sometimes it felt like a great relief, since he was the only one to see her for what she really was. It was a good thing to get away from him when he saw her all day, every day. And yet, sometimes it felt devastatingly lonely, knowing there was another actor with whom she could knowingly perform, and yet having to avoid him because of his dangerous tendency to break character. Sometimes Jade felt like she was the only actor onstage, and had been entertaining the world as her audience all alone, all her life, and when Fate had finally handed her a co-star, she had shoved him away backstage.)

Strangely enough, no one ever sought Hsi Wu out to bully him. She wondered if perhaps he just gave off a dangerous vibe, or if he was lying about losing his powers.

(Jade knew she should tell Uncle about her suspicions. But for some reason, she felt disinclined. Hsi Wu had been acting for hundreds of years, and fooled even his own siblings. Perhaps such a skilled actor deserved some respect.)

During recess, the same thing would happen. Drew would come in and try to tease her, Jade would fire back some witticisms of her own, and Hsi Wu would just spend his time by himself.

They would walk back home together as silently as before.

When they got home, they would go to their respective rooms (Hsi Wu's being a repurposed storage closet) and do their homework, alone. At dinner time, they would gather in the kitchen to eat either Chinese takeout or something Tohru (or sometimes Jackie) had made, and mostly they would listen to the adults talk, Jade occasionally brightly chiming in. Hsi Wu would make quiet small talk, if he was addressed. Unless someone pointed it out, they almost never spoke to one another.

After dinner, they would brush their teeth and go to bed, supposedly repeating the same events the next day.

(At night, Jade lay awake, always sleepless ever since they had taken Hsi Wu in. There had been no more nights like _that_ one, but Jade would often wonder if Hsi Wu was as restless as herself. Perhaps he was up, wandering the halls, like they both had been that night. Perhaps he was sound asleep, dreaming of whatever haunts the night-time corridors of a demon's thoughts. Or perhaps he lay in bed, wide awake, just as she was, wondering if Jade was also restless.)

On the Friday of that first week, they were on their way out of school, when Jade spotted a flyer posted up outside.

"What is it?" Hsi Wu asked, coming closer to her as she peered up at the sign. It was for a musical production of Disney's _Mulan_ – the school's drama club was starting it, 6th and 7th graders only. The auditions started on Tuesday.

"A play. A kid's musical version of a Disney movie. Maybe you've heard of it?" Jade pointed up at the title.

Hsi Wu hummed. "The legend, yes. I've never seen the movie. Either way, it seems right up your alley." He gave her a brief, unnerving side-glance, and for a moment, Jade could see herself reflected in his cold, ruby eyes.

"And yours, too," she pointed out. "Want to go give it a try? It says scripts are available in Ms. Arbor's office, and I bet you've gotten bored just hanging around being a human kid."

He made a show of considering it. "I'm surprised _you_ want to. _You_ never struck me as the type to like pretending to be someone you're not." Hsi Wu seemed to be putting a strange emphasis on the word you. Perhaps he meant her character, Jade, and not her self? (Which was also Jade, and made her impending identity crisis even more confusing.)

The tone in his voice was almost...hopeful. _Are you finally breaking character for me?_ He was asking. _Are you finally admitting that you have secrets that you keep from others? Show me! You can trust me - I'm the same._

But Jade had nothing to hide – behind her mask, she was faceless and blank.

Still in character, she tsked. "Well, that shows just how much you know about me. I'll have you know I played the lead in _Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde_. Do you want to try it out, or not?"

Hsi Wu slowly nodded his head, and agreed that yes, he would, his eyes never leaving her face. It was the most eye contact they'd had all week.

As they made their way to the drama teacher's office, they kept an eye on each other through surreptitious glances.

Jade wondered how this new 'hobby' of theirs would complicate things. They already had their regular acts – the ones they used in front of Jackie and company, and in front of Hsi Wu's siblings. Then there was the double act they pulled as students – Jade pretending to be normal (at which she wasn't very good at first, her original act often leaking through), and Hsi Wu pretending to be human. Joining the drama club would be like a play within a play within a play – a triple bluff for them to keep up with, if only for a temporary audience that knew it was a lie.

Jade hadn't expected to want to try it out, but it was a thrilling experience, and would make for an interesting exercise in willpower.

Which one of them would break from the pressure first?

They both perused the script on their way home. It was their first time actually talking about something for a number of days, and it felt strange, almost...normal.

"What do you think? Do you want to try out for the lead?"

Jade pondered Hsi Wu's query for a moment before answering. "Nah. I think General Shan is more up my alley. I could do all his stunts, easy, and I like his song better. What about you?"

"I think the main character's emotional struggle is very interesting. Do you think they'd let us do the play with the genders reversed?"

Jade snorted. "Probably not. It's a middle-school production – there's bound to be some parents who'll complain."

"But there's already crossdressing, and breaking of traditional gender roles. Why can't General Shan be female, and Mulan male?"

They arrived at the shop before Jade could properly explain it. From the car outside, it looked like Captain Black had come to call. And if Captain Black had come...

Jade exchanged a furtive look with Hsi Wu, and they both hurried inside, Hsi Wu seemingly more anxious than she was. It wasn't an act, she noted, as he hastily kicked off his shoes and ran down the hall. Hsi Wu was genuinely afraid of his siblings – and for more than one reason, she reminded herself. They might not even know his human form was that of a child. Jade didn't know precisely what that could mean for the sky demon, but she was sure it wasn't anything good.

As they gathered in the kitchen around Captain Black, he explained that Xiao Fung's human form and and a woman fitting the description of Bai Tsa that Hsi Wu had given them had both been spotted in Russia. Jackie and Uncle were going over to Moscow to investigate. Tohru was staying, to take care of the shop and watch Jade and Hsi Wu.

"Aw, come on, Jackie!" Jade stayed in character, pouting. "You know I've saved your butt before!"

"And this time, the greatest help you can be to me is here," Jackie nodded in Hsi Wu's direction, "protecting him. For all we know, this could be a ruse to lure us into battle while they try to attack him. We made a promise to shelter him, and we need to follow through." _He's your responsibility_ , Jackie's expression said. _You made the decision to shelter him. You need to pitch in for this. If you screw around, then you will make a mistake that I cannot forgive._

Even in character, Jade could not disobey those unspoken orders.

They left for Russia scarcely more than two hours after Captain Black had briefed them; apparently, they were only going to take a few days, at most. Trouble tended to find Jackie on its own.

Tohru ordered takeout for them, and they ate dinner in relatively peaceable quiet. For Tohru, anyways. He simply ate and drank his tea with a serene smile on his face, blissfully unaware of the growing, unspoken, monstrous tension between Hsi Wu and Jade. All throughout the meal, they looked at each other out of the corners of their eyes – watching, waiting for the other to speak.

Tohru cleaned up the plates and takeout boxes, and then turned in early, yawning from an apparently exhausting day. He told them they could stay up later if they wanted, so long as they were in bed by 10:30.

And so they were left alone together, in silence.

Hsi Wu's eyes seemed almost like they were glowing, making the room around them look dark by comparison. He stood casually – too casually. A slow smile started creeping across his face. Jade's heart was racing, and she didn't understand why.

"So," he began. "Tell me about Jade Chan." His red, bloody red eyes glimmered as they froze her in place. "Who's the girl behind the mask of the clown? And how _did_ she come to this?"


	3. Cuòzhé (挫折)

Jade was frozen. Did she answer, or not?

She had no lines prepared to combat this – but then again, she'd stopped thinking of Hsi Wu as being a part of the audience a while ago. And no one else was here.

So what to do? Should they continue this complicated song-and-dance? Would he always be pursuing the truth, and she always evading him, because she had no truth to give him? That sounded exhausting.

Or would she finally take off the mask – at long last, go backstage, and stop needing to act all the time? That thought frightened her – Jade had no idea what she would be like without her mask of the normal child.

But both choices were tempting.

Jade swallowed as sentence formed in her mind. It was true, but it also avoided his real question. He would probably be frustrated by this, but it would be the truest thing she had ever said.

"There's no one behind the mask." Her voice was cold and toneless, and her face utterly blank. She hadn't allowed herself to behave so naturally since she was just a little girl back in Hong Kong.

Hsi Wu clenched his fists; he looked infuriated. It wasn't the grand confession that he was hoping for – no doubt he had wanted a secret, camaraderie, an affirmation that he wasn't alone. A chance to tell his own story. But Jade had nothing to give him. Perhaps, given some time, he would realize what she meant.

Without even acting, she turned away and said, "I'm going to bed. Stay up if you want."

And she walked up the stairs.

That night, as she lay awake, she wondered if she had done the right thing, by choosing not to choose.

All day Saturday, Hsi Wu seemed to be avoiding her presence. For some reason, Jade felt guilty – and even lonelier than before. She thought that perhaps she ought to have come up with a different act, one with a secret, a character behind the sidekick.

But no, Jade decided. He would have seen through that, just as he had seen through her first act. Could there be no end to this?

All he wanted was answers, but Jade had no answers to give him. And so she turned to the person who might be able to help her. Even though she had to ask him through the veil of her character, it would, hopefully, still prove helpful. Faking or not, he was still her friend, after all.

Jade sighed as she dried another dish. "Hey, T. I...kind of need some advice."

Tohru set down a cup he had finished washing, and looked at her kindly. "Yes?"

"There's this friend of mine, from school – well, I say he's a friend... I mean, I'd like to be friends with him, but there's some...distance between us. I'd rather not get into it. But anyway, he's been asking me a question lately, and I don't really have an answer for him. What do I tell him?"

Tohru thought for a moment as he rinsed a bowl. "What kind of question is it?"

"It's...about me, I guess. But I just don't really know how to answer him."

"Do you mind telling me what the question is?"

"Yeah, kind of."

"Hmm." Tohru thought some more. "Is it...about your opinions?"

"No... It's more like it's about – well, who I am, I guess."

"Hm. It must be an interesting question." Tohru hummed to himself for a moment. "Maybe you should think about what he's asking. If it's about yourself, and you don't really know if there's an answer, then maybe you should try asking yourself if there is one. You might be surprised."

"Huh." Jade finished drying the bowl. "Thanks, T."

Jade lay awake again that night, thinking.

Hsi Wu's unspoken question was difficult for her to answer. Little did he know, this was as frustrating for her as it was for him. Jade closed her eyes, as if hoping that by doing so she could see inside her own mind and find the answer there.

"Who am I?" she whispered.

Hsi Wu's implied question – who was Jade, really? Behind the role of the excited and naive child, who was she? Why did she ever start this? What had she wanted to hide so badly?

She thought back to when she first realized that she wasn't a normal child. She had been four years old, and reading by herself in the back of the class, not interested in playing with the other children. Her parents were with the teacher, quietly talking, and giving her worried glances.

Normally they should have been glad their daughter was studious and quiet. But she was _four years old_. At the very least, they thought she should have been interested in playing, even if it wasn't with other children.

But even then, Jade had never really seen the point. She hadn't really seen a point to reading, either – but she didn't want to just do nothing.

When she realized that this disturbed her parents, she resolved to try and be normal – to make them happy with her. And when she saw them again after having been with Jackie for a year, they were happy – happy enough to transfer guardianship of her to Jackie, their hope being that he could guide her along her path better than they could. They still loved her, they called – they even visited sometimes. But they had given up on raising her themselves.

This made her unhappy, Jade realized. She had done all this for them, only for her efforts to be wasted.

So what sort of person must she have been before, to want to please her parents so badly – to go so far as to try to change herself?

Clearly, there must be something to her besides her role. So who was she now? Did she really like video games? Did she have a real favorite color? Did she really enjoy acting?

Jade knew only a few things for sure:

She loved her family,

Having to pretend all the time bothered her,

And she really did want to get to know Hsi Wu – not Seymour, the act he used to fool her, not the Sky Demon who acted ruthlessly for his sibling's benefit, but Hsi Wu himself, the one behind the mask.

But the problem was, before she could get to know Hsi Wu, she would have to do what she'd never done before, and tell him what was behind her mask, what secret she was trying to hide.

So, what was it? What had she wanted to hide, all this time?

There was no weakness. No dark secret. Just herself – the self that her parents hadn't wanted for a daughter.

There was someone else she wanted to get to know, Jade realized. Her own self. Not Jade Chan, the rebellious niece and intrepid adventurer – but the girl who had never had a chance to grow.

Maybe having someone else know that Jade Chan wasn't all she was might help her. It might be time to befriend a fellow actor.

Hsi Wu had been right – the only reason she hadn't spilled it all then and there was because of what side she was on – and her character was still supposed to see him as an enemy. But Jade wasn't the type to hold grudges very long – it would be conceivable that she might have warmed up to him in the week of living with him.

Act One had ended with Hsi Wu joining the cast, and Intermission was nearly over. Jade needed to talk to him now, before Jackie returned with news and they all resumed their parts.

The problem was, he was still angry, and avoiding her at all costs. She'd have to come up with a creative way to communicate.

That morning, Jade got up before dawn and got out a pencil and a piece of paper. She tapped her mouth with the pencil, deep in thought. The message couldn't be too direct – if Jackie or Tohru were to find it, there would definitely be questions. Perhaps a cryptic poem would be up Hsi Wu's alley.

" _There is a mask, but the wearer cannot be seen;_

_Reflections give no answer – the players only see the mask._

_Should the mask begin to slip and fall, what might be revealed?_

_We cannot answer, for who can see his own face?_

_If you want to talk, come with me to Golden Gate Park at noon._ "

That seemed clear enough to her. At the very least, Hsi Wu might get a vague idea of what she meant. Whatever questions he had, she could clarify once they met in secret.

Jade slipped the note under his door before breakfast. Hopefully he would get it.

At 12:00, Jade was waiting by the door, and Hsi Wu was coming downstairs. Their eyes met.

He had a slight smirk hidden in his blood-red orbs – not the triumphant smirk he'd had last time, but it was definitely satisfied, and perhaps even a little eager. Jade's face felt simply neutral, but she got the feeling that her eyes betrayed her nerves.

"I've already told Tohru where we're going. He won't be too worried, but we'll need to be back by 3:00."

"That should be enough time, right?"

She cautiously nodded. Her heart was beating like she was running at top speed. Jade wondered briefly if she was making the right decision, if he was just going to betray her again – but she _knew_. And he knew she knew. He couldn't just ignore that.

Could he?

"Alright, let's go." Jade opened the door with a chime, and Hsi Wu walked out ahead of her as she closed the door behind her.

Golden Gate Park was only a short walk from where they lived – rather than take them through the usual paths, Jade guided him through bushes and various shrubbery, to a small clearing, a ways away from any paths or picnic spots, that hardly anyone visited. In the center of it was a great big elm.

Jade walked over to the tree, and motioned for Hsi Wu to follow. "Come on, up here. I'll give you a boost if you need it."

In a flash, Hsi Wu had shimmied up the tree trunk, and was already on the lowest branch. He smirked down at her. "Sky demon, remember? If I couldn't climb a tree, I'd be ashamed of myself."

Jade scowled and started climbing the tree herself. "This from the one who didn't know how to sweep a floor."

"I'll have you know that's completely different."

As Jade reached the lowest branch, she motioned upwards. "Come on, we have to go a little higher. People can still hear us at this height."

She climbed about five more feet, and came to a stop at a long, thick branch, about halfway up the tree, shrouded by the uppermost leaves of the trees around them. No one could see up here. She sat at the branch's base, legs dangling on either side of it.

Hsi Wu swiftly followed suit, scampering up the trunk and grabbing hold of the branch, swinging himself upwards to perch on the end like some kind of large, reckless bird. If anyone not knowing what he was had seen him, they would have called him a daredevil.

"Well? You wanted to speak?"

Jade drew a long, silent breath.


	4. Qǐshì (啟示)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> O_O Holy crap I never expected to take this story to this level. It started out as this random little story snatchlet on my phone, and now it's taking all these new turns and twists. It's turning into something more than I ever actually intended.
> 
> Btw, if anyone wants to make their own spin on this concept, they're totally welcome to. In fact, comment if you do! I'd like to see it.

"I...know what you've been asking. And I don't really have an answer for it – yet, anyway. I've been...hiding, for almost as long as I can remember. I think I've never really known what it was I even was hiding in the first place.

"I never acted like a normal kid, and my parents...didn't like it. They thought I was too quiet, too cold and formal. I wasn't interested in toys or playing games – nothing remotely recreational, not even drawing. I was never afraid of the dark, or had any nightmares. The conclusions I came to were too... logical, for my age. Other children often called me an alien. They took me to a bunch of doctors, who kept telling them I was fine, but... they still wanted someone normal.

"So when they finally sent me to America to be with Uncle Jackie, I practiced pretending to be normal. I was good at it, too. But when they finally saw me..." Jade bit her lip. "They were happy for me, but – they thought it would be better for Jackie to keep doing whatever they thought he'd been doing, and they said they wanted him to raise me instead. Don't get me wrong – I love Jackie, but I wanted my parents to love me. They were why I made the mask, why I put on the act. And now I'm stuck doing this just to keep up appearances, and not to make my parents happy."

Jade let out a deep sigh, and leaned back against the trunk of the tree. "I've never told anyone that. Hell, I only realized I was just pretending about a year or so ago. I don't even know who I really am."

She finally turned to look at where Hsi Wu was sitting on the end of the tree branch. He was leaning back almost dangerously, his head tilted and a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Well, I've told you my secret. I suppose that makes it your turn now, doesn't it?"

For a moment, Hsi Wu looked surprised. And then he grinned. Not a mischievous smirk of a trickster, or the polite smile he gave others, but a proper, genuinely pleased grin.

It was no wonder he didn't use it too often – his canines were just a little too long and a little too sharp to be properly human. His real smile brought them straight out into the light, gleaming almost like fangs.

If she were in character, Jade would have shuddered and called it creepy. But she wasn't in character right now. And strangely enough, to her it just looked like he was smiling.

Hsi Wu whistled slightly, looking up at the sky wistfully. "Well, it's a long story... I suppose I should begin with my siblings -"

Just then, Jade's phone rang.

They both froze, staring at the phone as Jade slowly pulled it out of her pocket.

It was Tohru – but they'd only been gone for half an hour. They exchanged a look. The only reason he would call was if there were an emergency.

Jade hesitantly flipped open the phone and answered the call. A few tense minutes passed in silence as she listened to Tohru speak.

"Mm-hmm. Okay. We'll be right back." She flipped the phone closed.

"What is it?"

"Curtain call. Jackie and Uncle are back early. They've got news."

Hsi Wu jumped off the branch (making Jade's heart stop for a moment) and landed on his feet, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for her to slide down. As soon as her feet touched the ground, he bolted so fast Jade could have sworn he was using the rabbit talisman.

As Hsi Wu ran (and Jade struggled to catch up) it was driving her mad, what Hsi Wu's secret could be. She had given him her answer – so who was he? The call couldn't have come at a worse time.

When they got back to the shop, they scarcely took the time to take off their shoes before running upstairs to see Jackie.

He looked exhausted, and was holding an ice pack to the massive bruise on his chest. Uncle looked equally tired, but in much better shape. As they entered the room, Jackie saw them, smiled, and joked, "You know, your sister packs a bit of a wallop. I'd be impressed if I weren't on the receiving end."

When he got only a flinch from Hsi Wu in response, Jackie stopped smiling, having probably guessed that this wouldn't be a laughing matter for him. Jackie turned to Captain Black and began his report.

Apparently, the demon brotherhood was under the impression that Hsi Wu had betrayed them for power, and then gotten himself imprisoned for his efforts. Their intentions, for now, were to leave him to rot.

Hsi Wu let out a huge sigh of relief when he heard this, and much of the tension that Jade hadn't realized he'd been carrying for the past week dissipated. Out of the corner of her eye, she Jackie smile slightly as the two of them pulled out chairs and sat down next to each other.

Suddenly, Jade realized that up until now, they had always sat on opposite ends of the table.

As Jackie gave the rest of his report, they learned that the demons were trying to lay relatively low – they seemed to be taking measures against being banished again, hence the research in Russia. Apparently, they had invaded the library at the University of Moscow to find some old research on an ancient artifact (figures) that was discovered in eastern Siberia twenty years ago. According to Uncle, it was known as the Efira Amulet, and it could supposedly anchor its wearer in this realm, in the demons' case, preventing them from being banished. The two demons had gotten away with the information they needed, but luckily, so did Jackie and Uncle.

Hsi Wu faintly snorted as they got to the end of the tale. "They're going to have a hard time splitting that seven ways," he muttered, making the childlike gesture of leaning back and folding his arms. "I wonder how they think they're going to share it – take turns? It's not like any of them have a history of getting along well," he said bitterly. Playing up the role of the abused kid – although, it wasn't as though the statement itself wasn't true.

"Be that as it may, it works out in our favor," Captain Black replied firmly. "Even if they do get the Amulet before we do, with the Panku Box, Uncle can still banish the others, and we can deal the one who's left later.

"In any case, the Amulet was stolen two years ago – the last time it was spotted, it was in an illegal auction in Ukraine, before it was purchased by a millionaire currently living in India. We're still trying to contact the buyer – if worst comes to worst, we may need to bring the rest of the J-Team in on this one."

Jade could feel Hsi Wu resisting the urge to curl his lip in disdain. To be honest, Jade wanted to roll her eyes too. She had intended the formation of the J-Team to seem like a childish whim on her part, but somehow it ended up being taken seriously. The fact they were still using the name she gave them was kind of embarrassing.

Huh. She was capable of being embarrassed. That was new.

But still – she was in character, and that was her cue.

"Yes!" She jumped up, punching the air. "Go J-Team! Should I call Viper and El Toro? We can have everyone over right away!"

Jackie smiled in amusement at her enthusiasm. "No, Jade, that won't be necessary – yet. But keep your phone on standby, just in case."

"You got it, Jackie!"

Hsi Wu was giving her a weird look. His gaze was quietly disturbing, and Jade couldn't help but feel tense. She avoided his gaze.

(But knew that his bloody red eyes would still be focused on her.)

As the meeting was wrapped up, Tohru told them they could go back to playing in the park if they wanted, (which brought a grin to Jackie's face and a scowl to Uncle's) and the two agreed.

The walk back to Golden Gate Park was silent.

As they entered the trail, they were alone, walking side by side, not a step out of place.

They happened to glance at one another at the same time, and their eyes met.

They both stopped.

Pools of amber and ruby glared into each other, each daring the other to speak first.

Finally, Hsi Wu opened his mouth to speak.

"You've kept up your role."

"So have you."

"I never stopped – and besides, it's necessary." A pause. "I thought you said you loved your uncle."

"I do. So much that for his sake, I can't stop. And besides, a sudden change would be hard to explain."

"One could argue character development."

"Never that drastically." Another pause. "Why are you asking?"

He didn't answer, but looked away, and in a flash, Jade could see in his face that he had been hoping to avoid the sidekick, and stay with the actor. Unfortunately, while she stayed on the side of the heroes, there could not be one without the other, and it was beginning to look like that was going to be a very long time, if seeing her future self as Section 13's new Captain meant anything.

Hsi Wu was starting to grind his teeth. Perhaps it might be best to change the subject.

"You were going to tell me your side."

His head whipped around to look at her again, and slowly, he smiled that same fanged, glittering smile. "It's a bit of a longer story than yours. Are you certain you want to hear it now?"

Jade turned her head, and gave him a look that she hadn't given anyone in a long time – an expression that had made her parents nervous and her teachers feel foolish. She raised a single eyebrow, and let a wry smirk cross her face.

Ordinarily Jade Chan never smirked wryly – it made her seem too thoughtful and intelligent. This made Hsi Wu's grin even wider.

"Well," he began, his eyes growing dark and gleeful and wild. "Let me begin over a thousand years ago..."


	5. Péngyǒu (朋友)

"I think it would be prudent to first explain exactly how demon sorcerers come into being.

"You see, normally, when a human has dabbled in the darkest of magics, and committed great evils and atrocities in their lifetime, then, when the time is right, and their powers are at their peak, they will transform into a demon, and they are thenceforth called 'demon sorcerers,' because they are both sorcerers and demons. They are still able to transform into humans, but they age both physically and mentally with their human form, so most prefer not to use them unless absolutely necessary. This was how the demon brotherhood came into being – they all committed terrible acts as human beings, and so became demons.

"You very nearly saw this happen with Daolon Wong – he attempted to transform himself, but his dark chi, while incredibly evil, was not dark enough to qualify as a demon sorcerer. And so the spell backfired, creating the portal through which we escaped.

"Despite what your human legends may say, none of us in the brotherhood are related by blood. When a new member joins them, they will mingle their blood with the other members of the brotherhood, creating a magical bond. So you see, none of us share parents.

"One thousand years ago, I was the last of the eight of us to join in the pact. I was the youngest – although, they never knew exactly _how_ young. You see, I wasn't made a demon in the traditional sense.

"I was born as the second son of a family of nobles; it was apparent from the very moment I was born that I was not a normal child. My father accused my mother of being unfaithful to him with a monster – my mother accused my magician father of cursing her. My older brother couldn't care less what I was, since he had never wanted a sibling.

"You see, Jade, there is one more way a demon can come into being, and that is by simply being born. For whatever reason, Fate chose to have me be born a demon. I have never done anything to deserve it, I have never proved my powers to be of sufficient darkness, chaos and strength – I was simply thrust into it, and had to master it, or else let it consume me.

"Time passed, and as I grew, I learned to fly. I discovered my most basic powers, and slowly learned to use them. I learned how to pass as human, and I would sometimes sneak into my father's study to learn magic.

"All of this I had to do on my own. My family had no desire to help me foster my powers – I think they feared I would kill them if they did. I'm still not sure if they were right or not.

"A few days after I turned nineteen – at _this_ age, since it had taken me many years to learn how to transform," he gestured down at his body, "Shendu, Dai Gui, and Bai Tsa came to a nearby village that my father ruled.

"They didn't bother hiding – in those days, demons could go about as they pleased, and no one would cross them for fear of being killed. They simply walked in, destroyed whatever they wanted, demanded food and hospitality from the townsfolk, and used their magic blatantly and readily. They didn't live in fear of having their heads cut off in the night, or having their parents' friends find out they weren't really what they seemed. At the time, having followed my father to the village, I was in awe of them. At long last, I thought I had found beings like myself – perhaps even a family, by the way they called each other brother and sister." Hsi Wu's lip curled into a sneer as he scoffed. "How very foolish and naive I was.

"I came to them in my demon form, and introduced myself as Hsi Wu – a name that I made up on the spot, though it seems to have become my name more than anything else, especially not my birth name. After proving to them my magic was powerful, they allowed me to join the brotherhood.

"Over time, I would begin to realize that I was different even among my demon brethren. I would lie, and tell them I had once been a mighty wizard, pretend to be something I was not for nearly a hundred years.

"I eventually realized that I had made a terrible mistake, but it was far too late. By that point, I was in with them too deep, and I couldn't afford for them to discover my weakness – that I was, in fact, little more than a child, and had done nothing great and terrible to earn my status as a demon sorcerer. I knew I couldn't risk them finding me out, and so I used my human form only rarely, and always out of their sight.

"In the hundred years I terrorized the world with them, and the nine hundred years I spent imprisoned with them, I sat quietly, watched and learned – never aging, but always uncovering more knowledge, more power, more experience.

"Make no mistake – I take pride in being a demon, but some aspects of it can be like a curse. I am over a thousand years old, and yet," he looked down at his hands, his voice growing soft. "I'm still a child."

"That is my secret, Jade Chan. My chi and my body are young, yet my mind is old. I am always walking a fine line between darkness and innocence." Hsi Wu snorted, and looked up at the sky as he scuffed the ground with his shoes. "It's funny. I can never let my siblings know that I'm a child. I can never let your heroes fully realize that I'm anything but. I'm on a knife's edge.

"When I was free for those first, brief few days, I didn't realize at that you were a pretender, like I was. You put up a good front – I didn't see it until you arrived at the water tower. Your use of the Tiger talisman was too...knowledgeable, and intuitive. When you had described it to me before, you had appeared to simply believe that it split people in half – it was out of character for you to realize that it could bring two halves together as well. And besides," here he paused, "Your expression was too angry. If you were just any average child, you would have been too distraught and betrayed, having just realized your crush was a demon, to be after revenge."

"To be fair, you did throw me off. It hadn't even occurred to me that demons could take the form of children." Jade wasn't even going to address the issue of having had a crush on him – she wasn't ready to determine whether her feelings had been real or not.

Their eyes briefly met as they laughed at this, and Hsi Wu froze for a moment, before he coughed and straightened up, looking away.

"In any case, we're here now, and things are the way they are."

Jade nodded, looking up at the sky. The clouds were slowly starting to turn orange, the sun only just preparing to set. "So now what?"

Hsi Wu let out a long, slow breath, as he turned his head upwards. "We keep doing what we do best – hiding."

Jade turned to him thoughtfully. "I've never had anyone to 'pretend' with before. What about you?"

He turned his gaze to her, studying her carefully. "Me neither. I never even thought anyone other than demons would have to, much less a human."

"So I suppose this is new for both of us."

A comfortable silence filled the space between them. They headed home as it started to get dark, occasionally (genuinely!) talking and laughing – they'd be in for a scolding when they got back, but it wouldn't matter. They had found one another, they could finally go backstage; their secrets were no longer dark and oppressive, looming over their souls like night-time shadows. At long last, they could take the time – if only for a moment – to put away their masks.


End file.
